Recently, I’ve taken a step back, reintroducing myself to myself, finding out who I am right now, finding out what brings me joy not only in business but in life. Behind the scenes I’ve been re-evaluating, writing, crying a lot, laughing even more, healing, painting, gardening, thinking, raging, hurting, unlearning old habits, building new ones, attending events, singing, dancing around the house, creating and simply LIVING again! Sometimes we become so engulfed in the woes of life that we lose sight of who we are at our core. We forget our purpose and lose our way when life throws us a curveball.
In a moment of semi-hesitant vulnerability, the truth is, recent divorce followed by hospitalization and a series of telenovela worthy events really turned my life upside down in recent years, which made it extremely difficult to maintain focus and passion for my “thing”. The emotional and physical toll was more than I could have ever anticipated. As strong as I thought I was, I was breaking, broken, broken into a million pieces. My mother and grandmother have always been my examples of strength, therefore smiling through the pain was the easy part. However, healing behind the scenes has proven to be the most difficult aspect of it all. On the outside my life appeared fine, and that’s the thing about depression…it doesn’t “look” like anything. This is why I encourage you to check in with your loved ones, especially the strong ones and if you are that loved one that needs to be checked on, verbalize it.
Healing didn’t truly begin until I allowed myself to go through the emotions instead of masking them. I had to experience the denial, the pain, the helplessness, sickness, the hopelessness, the brokenness, the anger, the confusion, the insanity, the lowest of the lows, all of it. I needed it all, to find this place of peace, to get back to the heart of my brand. I needed to step away to heal, to find the confidence in myself and my abilities again. It was crucial to nurture the weakest parts of myself so that now when I present myself and my product to the world, there is no mistaking that there is passion and clarity behind it all. In order for that to take place, I had to start from within. My family and close friends have been such a huge support system for me throughout, and I assure you, I would NOT be here without every last one of them!
The silver lining is that nothing happens to us without purpose, and no matter how far we stray away from our “thing” and our happiness, they always find a way back to us. I am now able to see that there is beauty in brokenness. The reality is that yes, I still cry nearly every other day and I am broken into a million pieces, but now I’m able to gather these shiny shattered parts and create a new and evolved version of myself, my life and my business, a mosaic masterpiece if you will. Lol. There’s really so much to let you in on, but nobody likes a Longwinded Wendy, including me, so I’ll dip out right here.
Remember, at the end of the day life happens and we are human, you may lose your focus, but your “thing” will always find its way back to you!
*SPECIAL THANKS TO: My Mom and Dad, my Granny and Papa, my Bestie, my cousin Mario and all of you who reached out during this transition. I am eternally grateful and love you all sincerely!